Sex Bomb Sex Bomb, Gary The Sex Bomb
Published: 07 April 2017
Forget the Brennan brothers, forget Paul, and forget the priest, Ramsay Street’s greatest catch is Gary Canning. Wooooot, wheeeeeeew
Terese Willis: smart, assertive, intimidating. Erinsborough’s hospitality-industry powerhouse, became a love-struck teenager with dimples, gleam in her eye and all, as she stood on the lawn and said to Gary Canning:
“Gary, I think you’re the warmest, kindest, loveliest man I know...”
It was the penultimate moment in an on-again-off-again clandestine relationship, beaten only by the moment they decided to go public. And despite a few clashes with Canning matriarch and queen of the Aussie sheilas, Sheila, the relationship has been running smoothly; there are few middle-aged couples as gooey as the career woman and the ex-con, holding hands and giggling at each other’s jokes.
But Brooke is back (dun dun dunnnnnn) and while we don’t know what she’s exactly here for – though making things up to her daughter is likely what she’ll claim and, to give her some credit, ‘carn, will probably genuinely want to achieve – we speculate the prize she’s got her eye on would be a family unit headed up by her former man.
Are these two women about to scrap on the street? (It doesn’t sound like Terese’s style, but then mud-slinging didn’t seem like Susan Kennedy’s either).
Well if they do, we can understand why. We’ve been keeping an eye on Gary Canning, and he’s turned out to be quite the catch. The kind of man who embodies a lot of traits often bandied about during discussions about what makes men attractive. Let’s list them:
He is actually very warm, kind and sensitive to others feelings. A total softy, always offering comfort to his family, and his friends.
He’s smart. Maybe not book smart, but life smart. He’s also funny, not as funny as his mother, but enough to make you chuckle from time to time.
But on the hand, he’s also a bit rough. You know, gets his hands dirty, fixes things, turns on the tough when his girls are in danger.
He risks his own wellbeing to help those he cares about, even if that means committing crimes to support his kids. Which is not cool, and pretty stupid, but ladies, who doesn’t like a project? Amiright?
He’s an excellent cook, beating Karl and Paul Robinson in a sausage contest that served us all one big innuendo, and is the perfect segue to our next point…
He has some kind of amazing trick he uses in the bedroom that drives women wild. It’s called the ladybird. That’s all the info we’ve got on that one.
When you put all these pros together, you get one very passionate ex-con (geddit?).
Will Gary keep it straight and narrow with the successful woman who encourages him to take cooking classes?
Or will he fall for the con-artist who looks a lot like his mum?
Time will tell.