5 Signs You Might Be Dating A Metahuman
Published: 05 December 2018
Dating can be hard, but you know what’s harder? Dating a metahuman
You might think they’re your run-of-the-mill guy or gal, but here are 5 signs that your beloved bae-to-be has most definitely been affected by a particle accelerator and developed super powers.
1. They’re constantly running off
Whether you’re on a date, on the phone or just hanging out, if they’re dashing off without any real reason as to why or where, you can bet your bottom dollar they’re a metahuman. There is no other explanation.
2. They always rock up looking a little disheveled
If they’re meeting you looking out of breath or stressed, they’re a metahuman. They've either been running around catching crooks or living that crime life, running from the justice system. Let's hope they're one of the good guys because the only thing worse than dating a metahuman, is dating an evil metahuman.
3. They come up with the worst excuses
Okay, so life happens and sometimes plans are cancelled last minute, but if their reasons for cancelling are weak AF, you know you’ve got a metahuman on your hands. For example: “I’ve got to help <insert someone’s name here> with something”. That’s a straight-up lie, and they’re no doubt a metahuman.
4. They always look tired
If the person you’re dating is always looking exhausted and downing coffees like they’ve had an all-nighter – they’re a metahuman. Being a metahuman is tiring work, all those super powers really zap your energy. If your special someone has a gnarly caffeine addiction and is always looking like they need a nap, hun, you're dating a metahuman.
5. They don’t text you back right away
In this digital age your phone is never more than 60cm away from you at all times, and on top of that, you probably check it twice an hour - minimum. The only people who are not always by their phone or able to text you back straight away are metahumans. Why? They’re too busy using their powers. Case closed.